How to Build a Circle of Powerful Friends in Any City, in 6 Weeks

Quick test. Who would you call tonight?

Open your phone. Scroll through your recent texts. Now be honest:

1Who's texting you about plans this Friday?

2Who would you call at 2am if something went wrong?

3Of the people you spent last weekend with, how many make you want to level up?

4Who in your life has already done what you're trying to do?

5If you disappeared for a month, who would actually notice?

For most men, the honest answer to at least one of those is nobody.

Some men are lonely. The friends from school drift, work friends stay work friends, and Friday night turns into your phone and a takeout box.

Others are never alone, just never at the right table. The same bar, the same guys, the same conversation as last week, and nobody in the group pushing anyone. It's the same problem wearing a different outfit.

That's not a personality problem. Nobody ever taught you how to build a circle. You were told to "put yourself out there." That's not a plan.

Most men believe close friends are something you make by accident when you're young, and that window has closed. It hasn't. After 25, friendships mostly stop happening by accident. From then on, they happen on purpose.

6 months from now, your weekends look different

A table of friends on a Friday instead of dinner alone. A Saturday on a mountain trail with 4 guys who are building things. A friend introducing you to a woman he thinks you'd get along with.

A group of men walking down the steps together on a sunny day in Tbilisi — A Saturday with the guys.

And at some point you notice you're the one bringing people together now.

Friends who actually show up: guys to train with, build with, and be pushed by

Like-minded people who get what you're building, instead of asking when you'll get a real job

Powerful connections: people who open doors, become partners, and bring you into rooms

A life you built on purpose, whether it's in your hometown or a country you haven't picked yet

Your environment eventually becomes your ceiling

Most men try the obvious fixes. Download a friend app. Say yes to every work happy hour. Wait for the guys they see every week to turn into actual friends. A few months later they're back where they started, and now they quietly believe the problem is them.

It isn't. Those fixes leave it to chance. This isn't a networking group, and you won't be swapping business cards at a mixer. And Meetup sites and Facebook groups are built for complete normies: people wasting a Saturday, not people building something. You'll learn how to build your own circle, on purpose, in any city you choose, for the rest of your life.

Built for men building something, not killing time

Long-term thinkers and builders who already have something of value to bring. If you want people to kill time with, this isn't it. If you want people to build a life with, keep reading.

At home

You want a better circle than the one you grew up with.

Planning a move

You want people waiting for you when you land.

Already abroad

You're tired of being the guy who knows nobody.

I've moved to 7 countries, most of them knowing nobody. Here's what it taught me.

My first move abroad was a one-way ticket to Romania. The first week was pure confusion. Booking a taxi was stressful. Getting to a restaurant was stressful. Residency and a bank account felt a thousand times harder.

The only people I knew there were two brothers who were already established. That's a good start, but you don't want to be the guy asking for everything. So I figured most of it out alone, and it cost me hours and hours.

It's also where I first saw what the right people around you actually do. We'd walk into a restaurant, and because they were established there, people treated them with real respect. One night I got up to use the bathroom, and a guard came over to walk me there.

Same city. Same restaurant. A completely different experience. The only difference was who you knew.

It worked. That was the problem.

When I first moved to South America, I did what everyone does. I went to the usual expat spots. I made connections. I reached out to people on Instagram.

And it worked. I started hanging out. I started talking to people.

But I was already doing the work: training, building my business every day, working on my mindset. I didn't want to sit at tables with people who were still trying to figure things out. I wanted tables where people were at my level, or ones that made me feel like I wasn't working hard enough.

So I went back to the drawing board.

What actually worked: The Social Evolution Method

It was in South America that I cracked it, and started spending time in circles of people who just moved differently. One knew an ambassador. One had sold a company. One had moved from America 20 years ago, built an online business, and now owns physical locations around South America.

The method wasn't new. It was what had already worked for me, done on purpose. Most people ask, "How can I help?" That question just creates work. So I found things that needed doing and did them, without asking for anything back. Years of that is what led to me becoming a professor in The Real World.

In 2016 I wanted to intern for the biggest blogger in my space. Hundreds of people were asking in his comments. I emailed a mutual friend and asked him to put in a good word. I got the spot. They were comments. I was a personal introduction. That internship led to my first clients.

A live panel at one of my Tbilisi events, with a crowd watching — One of my events in Tbilisi. The last one drew 100+ people.

Across 27 countries and 7 bases, it came down to the same 6 moves, in the same order. That's the Social Evolution Method. People stop me on the street in Tbilisi to thank me for helping them make their move. Now I teach the 6 moves directly.

From knowing nobody to the center of your own circle

It starts with a private 1-on-1 kickoff: where you are, who you want around you, and the fastest path there. Then 1 move a week:

Be worth knowing. How to show up so the right people want you around.

Your move: get clear on who you want around you, and how you want to come across.

Find your people. Where like-minded people actually spend their time, in any city, and how to get in.

Your move: find 3 places or groups in your city where those people spend time.

The first conversation. How to start one without it feeling forced, and end it with a reason to meet again.

Your move: start conversations at one of them, then break down what happened on the call.

Turn strangers into friends. The simple habit that turns one good conversation into a real friendship.

Your move: follow up and set a second meeting with at least 1 person.

Bring people together. Why the guy who hosts and introduces ends up with the strongest circle in the city.

Your move: plan and host a small get-together of your own.

Build your life around it. How your circle starts growing on its own: invitations, introductions, and the people who change your life.

Your move: set the weekly rhythm that keeps your circle growing after the program.

Every Saturday, a live call with me: a lecture with a specific set of actions for the week, then Q&A on whatever you're stuck on. Between calls, you can text me directly. Plus a private group of men doing the same thing.

What this looks like in real life

A client in Warsaw, Poland

New to Warsaw, his first time living abroad. His online business was running well, but everyone he talked to either worked for him or lived on the other side of a screen. He'd tried networking groups and friend apps. The people were nice, but they weren't pushing him to be better.

So he started showing up to the same place and applying the Social Evolution Method. It took him 2 months.

Now his circle includes a politician in the city, the owner of a luxury dealership, and fellow expats. He recently partnered with one of them to launch an app. They meet up regularly, at restaurants and on car rallies, and recently they were all at one of their weddings.

A client in Paraguay

He was tired of meeting expats who were only there to live cheap. So we got him into one of the best gyms in the city, and I shared one of the best spots to work from. Over a few months, he steadily built his circle. That's week 2 of the Social Evolution Method in action: find the places your people already are.

Now he has a group of friends he's traveled all over South America with, and they help each other with their businesses.

"It's the first country I've ever traveled where I felt like, okay, I belong here."

Another 6 months of eating dinner alone

Another 6 months with the same circle is another 6 months of:

Friday nights at home with your phone, wondering where everyone is

The partner who could have doubled what you're building, still a stranger

The woman you'd have met through a friend you never made

Weekends you won't remember, instead of ones you'll talk about for years

What is one right introduction worth?

Ask the guy in Warsaw. 2 months of showing up got him a business partner, an app they launched together, and a seat at a friend's wedding. For me, one introduction got me the internship that led to my first clients.

For context, my 1-on-1 consulting calls are $1,000 each. Circle includes one, plus a live call every Saturday and a direct line to me. Inner Circle includes 3.

Doing this alone, the way I did, took years. This is the shortcut.

How to Build a Circle of Powerful Friends in Any City, in 6 Weeks

Quick test. Who would you call tonight?

6 months from now, your weekends look different

Your environment eventually becomes your ceiling

I've moved to 7 countries, most of them knowing nobody. Here's what it taught me.

It worked. That was the problem.

What actually worked: The Social Evolution Method

From knowing nobody to the center of your own circle

What this looks like in real life

Another 6 months of eating dinner alone

What is one right introduction worth?

Get a seat at the table

Circle

Inner Circle

Questions men ask before joining

"Is this a course or a mastermind?"

"What's the difference between Circle and Inner Circle?"

"Do I need to be in Tbilisi?"

"Is this men only?"

"What happens after week 6?"

"I'm an introvert. Will this work?"

"How much time does it take?"

"What about time zones?"

"Will this help me meet a woman worth marrying?"

2 ways the next 6 weeks go